To Choke an Ocean Read online

didn't want to make you miserable."

  "Miserable! Hah! This dish is wonderful! What in the name of my FirstAncestor is it?" His pleased grin was enough like a snarl to makeHartmann cringe in his chair. Since Kron and I were both speakingNiobian rather than Confed, he didn't understand what was happening. Isuppose he thought that Kron was about to rip my throat out. It was anatural error, of course. You've seen a dog smile, and wondered what wasgoing on behind the teeth? Well, Kron looked something like that. ANiobian with his dog-headed humanoid body is impressive under anyconditions. When he smiles he can be downright frightening.

  I winked at Hartmann. "Don't worry, sir," I said. "Everything's allright."

  "It certainly is," Kron said in Confed. "This dish is delicious.Incidentally, friend Lanceford, what is it? It tastes something like ourKomal, but with a subtle difference of flavor that is indescribable!"

  "It's called an oyster cocktail, Kron," I said.

  "This is a product of your world we would enjoy!" Kron said. "Althoughthe sauce is somewhat mild, the flavor of the meat is exquisite!" Heclosed his eyes, savoring the taste. "It would be somewhat better withvanka," he said musingly. "Or perhaps with Kala berries."

  I shuddered. I had tried those sauces once. Once was enough! I couldstill feel the fire.

  "I wonder if you could ship them to us," Kron continued.

  Hartmann's ears pricked up at the word "ship." It looked like an openinggambit for a fast sales talk on behalf of interstellar trade, a subjectdear to his heart.

  But I was puzzled. I couldn't figure it out until I tried one of theoysters--after which I knew! Some fool had dished them up in straighttobasco sauce! It took some time before I could talk, what with tryingto wash the fire out of my mouth, and during the conversational hiatusHartmann picked up the ball where I dropped it. So I sat by andlistened, my burned mouth being in no condition for use.

  * * * * *

  "I'm afraid that we couldn't ship them," Hartmann said. "At least not ona commercial basis. Interstellar freight costs are prohibitive wherefood is concerned."

  Kron nodded sadly. He passed the oysters to Tovan Harl, his fellow FirstCouncilor. Harl went through the same reaction pattern Kron had shown.

  "However," Hartmann continued, "we could send you a few dozen. Perhapsyou could start a small oyster farm."

  "Is this a plant?" Kron asked curiously.

  "No, it's a marine animal with a hard outer shell."

  "Just like our Komal. We could try planting some of them in our oceans.If they grow, we will be very obliged to you Terrans for giving us a newtaste sensation."

  "Since my tribe is a seafaring one," Harl interjected, "they can beraised under my supervision until we find the exact methods to propagatethem in our seas."

  Hartmann must have been happy to get off the hook. It was a smallrequest, one that was easy to fulfill. It was a good thing that theNiobians didn't realize what concessions they could wring from the BIT.The Confederation had sunk billions into Niobe and was prepared to sinkmany more if necessary. They would go to almost any lengths to keep thenatives happy. If that meant star-freighter loads of oysters, then itwould be star-freighter loads of oysters. The Confederation needed thegerontin that grew on Niobe.

  The commercial worlds needed the anti-aging drug more and more as theexploration of space continued--not to mention the popular demand. Niobewas an ideal herbarium for growing the swampland plant from which thecomplex of alkaloids was extracted.

  So Hartmann made a note of it, and the subject was dropped.

  I didn't think anything more about it. Kron was happy, Harl was happy,and Hartmann was feeling pleased with himself. There was no reason tokeep the oyster question alive.

  But it didn't die there. By some sort of telepathy the Niobiansscattered along the long tables found out what had been getting talkedabout at the upper end.

  By this time I was on the ball again. When the orders went in I slippeda note to the cooks to use tabasco or vanaka on the Niobian orders. Itwas fortunate that there was an ample supply of oysters available,because the banquet dissolved shortly thereafter into an outright oysterfeed. The Niobians dropped all pretense. They wanted oysters--withvanaka, with tabasco or with Kala berries. The more effete Earthpreparations didn't rouse the slightest enthusiasm, but the bivalvefound its place in the hearts and stomachs of the natives. The oystersultimately ran out, but one thing was certain. There was a definite bondof affection between our two utterly dissimilar species.

  The era of good feeling persisted for several hours. There was no morequiet undertone of polite suffering among our guests. They were enjoyingthemselves. The Agreement was signed with hardly an exception beingtaken to its clauses and wording.

  Niobe became a full member of the Confederation, with sovereignplanetary rights, and the viscaya concentrate began flowing aboard theships waiting at the polar bases.

  A day later I got orders to start winding up the BEE's installations onNiobe. The consular service would take over after I had finished....

  * * * * *

  Lanceford looked at his watch. "Well, we're going to have time. It lookslike they'll be late. Want to hear the rest of it?"

  "Naturally," Perkins said. "I certainly wouldn't want you to stop here."

  "Well," Lanceford continued, "the next four years weren't much."

  * * * * *

  We spent most of the time closing down the outpost and regionalinstallations, but it took longer than I expected what with thedifficulty in getting shipping space to move anything but viscayaconcentrate off the planet. Of course, like any of the Confederationbureaus, the BEE died hard. With one thing and another, there were stilla lot of our old people left. We still had the three main bases on thecontinental land masses in operating condition, plus a few regionalexperiment stations on Alpha Continent and the Marine Biology Labs onVarnel Island. I'd just closed the last regional stations on Beta andGamma when Heinz Bergdorf paid me an official call.

  Heinz was the senior biologist on Varnel. He was a good looking lad ofTeutonic ancestry, one of those big blond kids who fool you. He didn'tlook like a scientist, but his skull held more knowledge of Niobe'soceans than was good for a man. He would have to unlearn a lot of itbefore he took his next job, or so I thought at the time.

  Anyway, Heinz came into my office looking like someone had stolen hisfavorite fishnet. The expression of Olympian gloom on his beak-nosedface would have done credit to Zeus. It didn't take any great amount ofbrains to see that Heinz was worried. It stuck out all over him. Hedraped himself limply in the chair beside my desk.

  "We've got troubles, Chief," he announced.

  I grinned at him. I knew perfectly well why he was here. Something hadcome up that was too big for him to handle. That was Heinz's only fault,a belief in the omnipotence of higher authority. If he couldn't handleit, it was a certainty that I could--even though I knew nothing ofeither his specialty or his problems. However, I liked the man. I did mybest to give him the fatherly advice he occasionally needed, although hewould have been better off half the time if he hadn't taken it.

  "Well, what's the trouble now?" I asked. "From the look on your face itmust be unpleasant. Or maybe you're just suffering from indigestion."

  "It's not indigestion, Chief."

  "Well, don't keep me in suspense. Tell me so I can worry too."

  I didn't like the way he looked. Of course, I'd been expecting troublefor the past year. Things had been going far too smoothly.

  "Oysters!" Bergdorf said laconically.

  "Oysters?"

  I looked at him incredulously. Bergdorf sat straight up in his chair andfaced me. There was no humor in his eyes. "For God's sake! Youfrightened me for a moment. You're joking, I hope."

  "Far from it," Bergdorf replied. "I said oysters and I mean oysters.It's no joke! Just who was the unutterable idiot who planted them here?"

  It took a minute before I remembered. "Ha
rtmann," I said. "Of the BIT.He ordered them delivered at the request of Kron Avar and Tovan Harl. Isuppose Harl planted them. I never paid very much attention to it."

  "You should have. It would have been better if they had imported Bengaltigers! How long ago did this infernal insanity happen?"

  "Right after the Agreement was signed, I guess. I'm sure it was noearlier than that, because Niobians met up with oysters for the firsttime at that affair." I still didn't get it, but there was no doubt thatHeinz was serious. I tried to remember something about oysters, butother than the fact that they were good to eat and produced pearls Icould